Thursday, April 26, 2007

Circular See-Saw

Head-to-toe red, when'd I turn this color? My gym shirt is a fair pink now. Will I get in trouble?


I almost think about writing it down and decide to save it and forget it instead. I've got nothing to balance out my mellowness, nothing to match up my happiness. I can't find any picture pretty enough. I'm emotionally detached - me?

No, I'm not. I can convice myself of anything, I'm telling you. Alexis is alright, I'm well-loved, S-B M is dead, sexy boy smiled at me, Alex is a pixie. Alex, you're a, I won't even say - you'd care more than I would! I'm the more apathetic! I'm emotionally detached - me? No, I'm not. I can convince myself of anything, I'm telling you.

One-time-only special! It rains as soon as I sit down, it pours in the sunshine as I sit for hours. I don't know where all my time goes - listening to the same songs over and over, maybe. Nothing in the whole world is relating to me. I'm emotionally detached - me?

No, I'm not. I've got nothing to balance out my mellowness, nothing to match up my happiness. Lesser's coming round to pick up the stuff of his I've got, stuff I've had since we broke up two years ago. Alex's staying away to practice at the dream-shooting range, practices strumming bowstrings in his free time.

All the books I read reviews of are based on the authors' childhoods, as if grown-ups can't relate to fiction. I do understand - I'm pretty emotionally detatched myself.

One, two, three, four, tell me that you love me more
Sleepless, long nights, sighs, what my youth was for
Oh, teenage hopes arrive at your door
Left you with nothing, but they want some more

Oh, oh, oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, oh, oh, you know who you are

Sweetheart, bitter heart, now I can't tell you apart
Cozy and cold, put the horse before the cart
Those teenage hopes, who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to run off, to one little lie

- Feist, "1234"

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you spelled 'circular' wrong in the title...

April 27, 2007 6:00 PM  
Blogger MelonHead said...

I used to force drama upon myself so that I could get really upset and just feel some kind of emotion. It's never good to be a drama queen like that, but I find it helps to do something stupid that you've never experienced before.

April 28, 2007 7:05 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Want to see Animal Collective on May 17th?

April 30, 2007 11:44 AM  

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