I Want To Rip Your Clothes Off

I cannot wait until one can illegally download clothing.

It'll come, you know, someday. The music and movie idustries are just first because they're easy targets. Their products are the ones that fit into little binary boxes. Eventually objects will too. And then every manufacturer will be screwed. But, 'til then, my ultimate fantasy is to be able to rip the clothes off everyone.

You, G, in your Billabong hoodie. I wore that for a day, once. Sewn-in thumb holes. There is no better garmet than the sweatshirt. Elizabeth, you who sits next to me in EP, take off your jeans. They're the most pefectly beautiful shade of blue. Anybody in a swoopy boho skirt - I want to swirl like a cancan dancer. When the trend's over you can have it back. And you, Necker's sister, going through your pink-zippered Dickies purse. Punk, and functional, too. I may be incapable of talking to you, Fai, but gimme that!

I'm obsessed by fashion. I crash into people in the hallway, trying to twist back and get a second look at something going the other way that caught my eye. They're never just clothes. And I'm so critical. I thought Brittany said she could "find something cheap about everybody". It was actually "something cute" - but I could find something cheap about almost everybody. And I'll enjoy my time with you more if I can't spot a pair of those generic brown clogs or stupid square holes in your jeans. I try to be insightful, not superficial. Everybody who sees what you look like forms opinions about your personality.

And, like everything interesting, fashion changes. Fads lie, trick you into admiring something you don't like. Fads make it so difficult to be different. But fads make it so difficult to be different - to be unique, you really do have to be unique. And occasionally they're even good of themselves. Brown, orange, and tan should be the next fad colors. Not too radical a shift from blue and brown, but less cutesy, and both restrained and kicky. Bring in some yellow in time for spring, and maybe pleats to replace these little flounces. Next week, keep your eyes out for brown and orange together. I see more of it all the time.

Hey, all you girls who wore fabulous striped, heart-patterned, and polka-dot kneesocks on Mismatch Monday. Can't you dare wear them any old Monday? You don't deserve them. Hey, you, reader. Strip. Give me your clothes and then go away.