Monday, October 10, 2005

Corn Flake

You know those people who hate Columbus Day? I'd like to make an agreement with those people. I'll listen to them cluck and gripe about having the holiday; they'll let me have it. Columbus Day, like any Monday off, is awfully nice. An extra twenty-four hours for SimCity and the homework I've been neglecting in favor of it. Free time for free thought.

Unfortunately for me and my emotional well-being, thoughts keep drifting across my head like, I still need to write my film analysis... and Lord above, may I never have to read the book, because The Mighty is a terrible movie!

It is. Jump up and down on a corn flake in frustration. It's a bop-you-on-the-head-with-a-Moral-Lesson-with-a-capital-M-L, then-maybe-bop-you-again movie. Its villian is not an obvious, oblivious blockhead like a bull in a china shop, but an obvious, oblivious blockhead like a bull in a china teacup. Line after corny line thuds dead on the ground, overbalanced with cliché.

Attempted discussion leads to wide, open, blank and bland places. Gaze into the airspace over the heads of a class that won't raise its hands not because it doesn't know, but because it's waiting for someone else to care. Why, it's thinking, did we watch ten minutes of To Kill A Mockingbird and nearly two hours of this?

Now, take your choice of resolutely inflakey prompts. There's Wheaties, "Discuss three brave acts...", Bran Flakes, "State and define a universal theme...", and Raisin Bran, "Discuss three examples where a metaphor is used...". "More points will be given for less obvious situations." Can you just see the standout essays?

They hover like clouds, waiting for a tornado of gripping prose and green tea, then tear in the unorginal wind and wear ruts in my cranium when they fall like corn flake hail.

7 Comments:

Blogger sarah said...

riiighhtt

You get Colombus Day off?? Lucky You!!

October 10, 2005 4:43 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

Columbus is a whore.

October 10, 2005 6:47 PM  
Anonymous Ellen said...

In Hennessy we had to write an in class analysis. WE had three prompts. I abandoned the first one I was doing at the last minute, when I realized I just didn't have enough support.

Creative cereal metaphors...

October 10, 2005 7:15 PM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Maybe I'm stupid, but I don't really...understand at all what the last two paragraphs mean.

Happy Beginning of the Brutal Slaughter of Indiginous Peoples Day!

October 11, 2005 10:01 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

Yes, but was Columbus that bad? It's not like he came to the new world with the intention of killing off natives. And he was brought up knowing only what was told to him by the Catholic Church and the monarchies of Europe. So, obviously, he did what he was, well, brainwashed to do when he "improved" the indigenous tribes and "civilized" them.

Oh, and Happy Lief Erikkson Day

October 12, 2005 6:01 PM  
Anonymous Graffy said...

hey i left today right after 2nd period, because i was feeling ill and when i got home my temp was 102.8. So if you could tell me the homework for chem, anchient, and math i'd love you forever, even though i already do!

October 12, 2005 6:43 PM  
Anonymous Graffy said...

hey i left today right after 2nd period, because i was feeling ill and when i got home my temp was 102.8. So if you could tell me the homework for chem, anchient, and math i'd love you forever, even though i already do!

October 12, 2005 6:43 PM  

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